Monday, December 1, 2008

I may need a little help this year!

I really am in an emotional bind this holiday season! Sometimes as all the holidays come and go i find myself a little challenged to be grateful.
I'd like to spend the holidays being with my family in appreciation of all have have and come out of it all with a big AH HA look at all the blessings you have and the things you have overcome!
Instead i generally, although ever grateful, come out a little bitter in some path life had taken me and also a bit conflicted on some i've taken myself.
This time of year always leaves me remembering my family far away. Every holiday that passes i marvel at how quickly my children are getting older and how sad i am that i can not share it with those closest to me.
This is the first year i spend without my grandpa, who meant the world to me, and so i think this year may be the hardest. Happiness is only as whole a those you share it with.
I have always been blessed in my ability to see through any storm and know that we will always be okay and protected but this year i find myself a bit more challenged than usual.
I wake up every morning to the faces of angels and i know that in so many ways, no matter my hardships, i should not be feeling so alone.
Yet like many i still do. Maybe i am not seeking out God in the way i should. Maybe i'm just overwhelmed by all that i have going on or maybe a just need to go home...

3 comments:

Becky said...

The Christmas season is hard sometimes, huh? I'm sorry this one is harder than usual. I remember my first Christmas without my Grandpa, it was tough.
I'm looking forward to seeing you soon and I'll be praying for lots of joy this Christmas.

: ) Becky

Becky said...

Hey Jessica. I think I'm going to do a scrapbook night on the 16th. Hope you can come. : )

Becky said...

OK...I'm sorry I keep leaving messages for you on here. I need to get your email address. : )

I just wanted to say I'm so sorry that I didn't call you back. Life has been crazy around here. I do want to get the girls together. I had to cancel the scrapbook night on the 16th, but I will reschedule it soon.

I'll call you so we can catch up and plan a playdate.

Blog it up and dance!!


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