Time to Shrink!

OK...deep breath.. i have joined in a weight loss group/challenge called The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans!... but this requires weigh ins..that I have post... to the public. SO.. I am weighing in at.. weeping a little.. 166! I have avoided the scale for awhile so this is a little bit of a O crap moment! But I AM READY TO GET MOTIVATED AND KICK MY OWN ASS!! oh ya.. I went that far with this! Get ready for a thinner me! Here is a pic of me pre baby (2 year old) and this is my goal. 125lbs! 

That is 40lbs total... I have no idea how I got here but I am done with it! Wish me luck and keep checking back for progress! 

~Jessica

Monday Mayhem...

Man o man today feels like a Monday! I was up late last night writing a paper on policies of the Cold War..exhilirarting i know. 

When I was finally finished it was late and I was tired. So I layed down in bed excited for sleep...and it didn't come..it didn't come until 3 am. Sometimes as much as I attempt to avoid getting over stressed or over anxious it all floods in at once. I really do have faith that all I am lacking will be provided but what I struggle with is the patience to wait for it...

So I lay awake with thoughts of the bills I can't pay, the house I can't keep clean and the anxiety of the million "what if's"... I struggle to come up with the answers to my own questions.. and then I realize that I am not having enough faith. I didn't first think to pray about it, in fact I didn't think of that at all. I have had many times in the past months that I really realized the power of prayer so you would think that when I get overwhelmed that would be the first thing I would think about..but it isn't. Why? 

I am excited to get back into the schedule of my bible study. I have grown so much in just what I have learned and maybe I just need to resume my outward actions to help me remember all the inward ones...

Well that's my Monday Mayhem thoughts.. How is your Monday?

~Jessica

Patience.....where are you?!

I'm looking..anybody seen it? I had a VERY productive Math day today! I finished all but my final in English..still waiting for my sigh of relief! Will it come when finals are over? I DON"T KNOW! At this point...it better! I know people balance their lives a little better than this..maybe I need to refine my juggling skill. 

After much math was learned today I came home..to a still filthy house and immediatly the stress level was back up. My kids had cereal for dinner! Anyone know a good maid and cook that will work for food and affectionate praise? LOL! Just for getting on an even playing field with my house!

I am thinking I need a vacation and if it is a weekend in a sleeping bag in the woods, i'm there! Who's in? :-)

Wow! I have been blogging a bit this week! By tomorrow's Lessons to take into the Weekend ya'll will be tired of me! ;-)

~Jessica

When prayer is needed most....

Well I did not post last friday and I have had such a stressful week a feel like a nice vent blog would do me good! 

In the last few weeks I have been missing my much looked forward to Wednesday bible study :-( with all the stuff happening around the house e.g. the ceiling and floor being useless... I have had to meet with demolition people, flooring people, drywall people and painters! UGH...and it always seems to fall on Wednesday! So I have been trying to get my life in prayer a little stronger as I seem to have a hard time settling down into a peaceful and growth like prayer. It has made a big defference even if I only take a minute when I am stressed and say a quick prayer it really changes my attitude... the last month has left me feeling so blessed..

With that said I cannot seem to catch up.. my stress level is higher than it has been in a long time..and so is my laundry pile. My great sense of fear to fail has been creeping up on me. People often ask me how, as a single working, student, parent, I do it. Usually my answer would be..the same as everyone else, God and a daily count of my blessings..lately, I just don't know. I feel like my patience is short and my to do list is long. To long for me to get it done. I realize we all have these same trials but for the past few weeks it has left me feeling like, and I hate to say it, I am in some way failing.

My oldest daughters both have has birthdays this past couple weeks and it leaves me reflective on whether I am doing as good of a job as I should. I think I am...but what if i'm srewing them up? What if my tornado of a room, or my prepared from a box dinners or my occasional outburst of impatience overpowers the love I do my best, in the midst of our chaos, to show them everyminute. I know, I know..it's not. But sometimes the stress of live leaves you feeling a tad incompetent. I know I have only been given what I can handle and I know God has given me these girls because He knows I will be the best parent for them.. and truly, I know this too.

As I said, this month has me counting my blessings but also has me terrified of my failures. In the end, I know that those blessings, my love for life and my children, my friends and my relationship with God, with be there as all I need...

~Jessica

W.O.W o W.O.W!! I'm done!

Thank you Becky for your inspiring hand in getting this big ol' project done. My garage has been my cleaning demise , co-conspiring with laundry of course, for ever! IT IS FINALLY DONE!! I can actually park my car in there! It's been done!! I can prove it!! :-) Well here the pic proof! Hope all you other wowers got your projects complete!

~Jessica

Check out all of Becky's other W.O.W contestants and cheer them on!

W.O.W

Well here is my project I have picked for Becky's W.O.W  contest! My garage has been a pain in my neck since I moved! That was quite awhile ago...so by Wednesday it WILL be shiny and clean!!

~Jessica

Lessons to take in to the Weekend

Well..it is friday again!! Where o where did the week go? We had another trial filled week but the house issues seem to be heading in the right direction! Next week new wood floors will be put in upstairs and new lamininate in the bathroom. I will be so glad when I can finally breath a sigh of relief!

We have been having a great time with my uncle living with us  and are SO excited to have my Aunt and cousin follow! The girls just love him and he returns the feelings! 

I cannot believe that Emma will be 8 in one week and Deanna will be 6 in 13 days!! HOW DO THEY GROW SOOO FAST?!!! The birthday party planning is not even started and although I am feeling a little overwhelmed I know that God will provide all I need to make it through the next week! Speaking of making it through.. I am STILL struggling to comprehend my math and I am squeaking by with a C and...have that 5000 word english paper draft due next week! ahhh.....I must thanks God again for giving me the strength to juggle this insane balancing act that is my life!

On a more exciting note :-) My momma will be here Sunday night!! YEAH!!!! I miss her so much and we are all so excited that she will be here for the girls' birthday party! We sure are sad that the majority of my family lives in Alaska but are grateful that they have the ability to come see us so often (aside from my brother..I have not even met my new niece yet :-()...

Well I guess my Lessons Learned this week would be to have faith that it will work out, not to dwell in what isn't going right and to appreciate and be thankful every moment for friends and family!